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Old 10-11-2011, 02:05 PM   #1
That Pooka
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Default Writing Contest 13: How did we meet?

Assertive Post

This Writing Contest consists of perpetual discomfort for everyone. The subject is how you met the next poster. Be descriptive, tell a story, but leave room because this is Naked Came The Stranger.

You grab someone else's meeting story and continue from there. You write additional meet-ups, the intention is that someone else likes it and grabs it.

Spoiler your work. Give it an enticing spoiler title. Post which ones you are taking. Be vigilant, because someone is going to take your spoilers and write their side of the story. To be nice, don't jump on the same choice someone else made. Pick a new one.

First come, first serve.

Spoiler for I stole ye momma's dick!:
I turned the street corner and nearly bumped into you, when a tiny, green-clad, man barreled between us and across the street, stopping to glance back at us and tip his emerald-encrusted hat to us. His suit was like a bedazzled green can of pepper spray. His pants were tight enough to seem he was smuggling a tootsie roll and three kumquats. I quickly diverted my eyes downward to see him sporting high-top sneakers, again bedazzled with green rhinestones that could have been emeralds except for the unmistakable lack of talent used to glue each plastic piece of fake jewelry to the shoes he likely stole from some disassociated parent's two-year-old.

At first, I couldn't believe what I'd seen. I looked right at you, and saw that you, too, were having trouble understanding what was going on.

That's when we heard it scream at the top of his brogue, "I stole ye momma's dick!" and finished with a shrill giggling fit.

"He's talking to you," we uttered simultaneously.

"I'm effecking with ye both!" he screamed, then farted lightly down the alley, each step a testament to the fiber in his diet.

"It's on..." you began.

"Like Montalban..." I followed.

"..is KhaAAAAAAAAAAaan!" we roared together down the crosswalk, picking up speed, leaping over errant trash and taking turns jumping across the hoods of cars.

What luck that the two of us should take our stand together while we had the pedestrian green light.

The Alley was dark, and full of cracked mirrors. I don't know why. Side by side, we sized up the entrance of our bricked arena.

We shot each other a quick glance, and grabbing each others closest elbow, we carefully made our way into the den of the diminutive beast...

The rest is sort of hazy...


Spoiler for Everyone already wanted to be naked from the waist down.:
The war of Shirts and Skins had been hard fought. Scientists discovered ways to improve skin complexion and rendered clothing obsolete. Healthy skin pornography overpopulated the internet, desensitizing everyone from nudity, and there was much prospering. The Lingerie market skyrocketed, as did various lotions.

However, not all was peaceful. A ragtag band of rebels began fashioning garments to be worn over the shoulder in northern territories, to combat the cold. Factions formed, darning techniques were passed down generation to generation, and soon there were populations wearing shirts once again.

Society shunned them.

Now I sit across from you at the Nudefoundlands's peace talks. I am the firstborn son of King Vneck, and ambassador to my people. I am not as grave as my father, but I bear the burden of all their goose-pimpled troubles.

My people have invented a creature called the Enveloplasm, and trained it to cloak all naked busoms. It is not my wish to loose such a creature on the world, but I must not show weakness to our naked oppressors.

Your people have countered with a ray that removes any dead or inorganic fibers. My people know this, and they fear for their uncoveredness.

All was going well, you and I, until you mentioned it was slightly cold and tweaked your nipples, an offensive gesture.

You are not without your resources, however, for you how I like a good joke. Now you must find a way to settle our differences and bring about peace to our peoples...


The point is to take a meet-up, write the response and finish it, then post at least one more meet-up for another person to respond to.

Good luck.
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Old 10-11-2011, 06:21 PM   #2
The Yukan
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It was a chilly day, ah yes, as I recall it was much chillier than the other days that month. Much colder than the typical October, or was it a September? March and February are a good guess too, but as I recall it was a November. The leaves had long since fallen, and I saw her standing there, short hair, beautiful eyes... I think they were brown, blue, hazel? Yes, they were like a warm summer's day, beautiful and free. I was nervous when her gaze fell into my own, and she spoke...
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Old 10-11-2011, 07:10 PM   #3
That Pooka
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Default OK, sure.

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Yukan View Post
It was a chilly day, ah yes, as I recall it was much chillier than the other days that month. Much colder than the typical October, or was it a September? March and February are a good guess too, but as I recall it was a November. The leaves had long since fallen, and I saw her standing there, short hair, beautiful eyes... I think they were brown, blue, hazel? Yes, they were like a warm summer's day, beautiful and free. I was nervous when her gaze fell into my own, and she spoke...
Hi. I'm a woman. I have cleavage, and a penis. Vagina. Sorry, my ...I don't have a penis. I think. Okay, see, I was raised in a skinner box and all I had to go on were anatomically correct teddy bears. I hate that they cut my hair. Look, I escaped a couple days ago and found an abandoned gas station. It's bright out, huh? My balls are really itching right now. I mean, my ovaries? Look, we should probably set some boundaries now because I don't have any condoms. Or, well, I tried the ones I found but they blanched me they were so tight. Really unsexy. I'm using them to carry water since they're all stretched out. Which explains why it kind of taste like genitals now, I guess? We should try to repopulate the surface world! Rhythm method?

And that's how I met your mother.

Next
Spoiler for Guest of Honor:
Mark Twain, VII eluded to your existence in his fourth journal, that you, he, and Ponce De Leon, had traveled with the Temporal Intelligence Agency's infinitube line, counterclockwise. WC Fields was hellbent on sacrificing me to the Mermaid Queen of Fiji, because Tesla's antipetrification machine had normalized me. The effect gave me a greater life force than normal, allowing my lip to heal rapidly, and giving Fields the idea. He planned to use the Mermaids in a hijacking of the equatorial supertrain, and use its rare earth magnets to open a singularity he called "The Egress" destroying our universe and creating a new one with himself as its god.

Your team arrived with bare moments to spare, when WC epiphected himself to an elsebox on the other side of the world, his haunting mantra filling the void he left behind "There's a sucker born every quantum resonance!"

Untied, I joined your team, and we made our way to stop the madman, that's when...
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Last edited by That Pooka; 10-11-2011 at 07:12 PM. Reason: I should be ashamed, but really my legs just hurt.
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