Well seeing as how a lot of you folks have written your own journals, I decided to start one of my own. I'm not really that interesting but I'll still update here from time to time.
To start off, my Name is Tomas Solano. It's an ok many but I mainly go by Tommy. For the first 8 years of my childhood, I lived in Huntington Park, CA
I was always timid person growing up. I would have considered my self to have been socially awkward. Through the years au would constantly fall sick for weeks on end, which meant I had to miss a lot of school and when I returned I would have no idea what I missed and was always near impossible for me to catch up. I couldn't even get passed my junior year. I had to drop out and try to go for my GED. I'm currently taking classes to prepare myself for the exam. Since I was a child I always wanted to become a video game designer but as time passed my interests expanded, I've been interested into going into the world of law. But as time has passed, I'm sure this is not my ideal career choice.
Over the years I've gone through trials of my own. There was a moment in my life where I actually considered suicide. After losing someone dear to me. Knowing I would never see him again. (He didn't die, he moved to a different country) I told this to a friend of mine, and she punched me in the face... hard. She then took out a pocket mirror and told me to say, "I want to die." I tried saying those four simple words. That one thing I've longed for, but I couldn't say it. As a child, I was always afraid of thunder and lightning but "someone" I knew taught me just how "magical" a storm can be and now I love to watch them every time. For a great portion of my life, ny father used to be an alcoholic. And a few years back he tried to take his own life and almost succeeded as well. Since then he has not touched one drop of alcohol. Don't get me wrong, he's the best father any child can ask for.
In my entire life I've only had one girlfriend and one boyfriend. All other times I just had sex for the sake of having sex. Well, like I said, I've grown since then; I've gone through trials of my own When but there were time I thought I'd never make it through. But really, I'm not alone, I don't have to fear the unknown.
As for hobbies, I've always been a gamer since I used to play super Mario world with the controller upside-down. I enjoy going to the mall. Even if I have absolutely no money on me, I just go there to unwind. If I'm not playing, I would go to the theaters or the arcade. I also enjoy playing the piano from time to time.
Fun facts about me.
During my time in los Angeles, I met the following people. Alfonso Ribeiro, brittney spears, tom cruise (a moment I've always regretted), and johnny yong Bosch.
Well just got back from the mall. I figured one of my resolutions would be to finally change my clothing style. I also think I might have to start wearing glasses again. Only problem is I have a tendency to misplace them. In my lifetime I've worn like two pairs. If not maybe I'll go for some contacts.
Well I'm off to find some work folks. I've been looking for awhile but nada. I have a friend who's mom works (hopefully still is) at a retirement home and I'm gonna ask her if there are any positions available. Wish me luck.
Well huzzah! I have a job interview this Friday at noon. Which is has been long over due. Well let's hope for the best.
And something I've been meaning to say. Sometime this year I plan on moving out of my parent's home and move in with a "friend"... ok boyfriend. We met online years ago known each other for a long time and well not too long ago, I pretty much confessed my feelings to him. Something I've always wanted to do but could never work up the courage to do so. We've been planning the move for a bit and I'll admit I'm excited but at the same time I'm kinda terrified. Oh well comes with the territory, I guess. Could been a few months from now, even a year. But until then I'll just have to continue with my everyday life.
Also moving out oh man, that was something when I finally moved out last year. It was a little worriedin the beginning because I was scared of failing or screwing up and ending up back home. But everything has worked out thus far, a few bumps in the road but I'm happy. Hope it goes well for you too.
And hell least you'll have someone to share bills with unlike me!
Ok one of the main reasons why I want to move is my father. Don't get me wrong, he's a great guy but there is one things I plainly don't like about him. It seems that when ever I make a small mistake he treats it as the end of the world. It's not what he says but the way he says it that gets to me. He is pretty much the reason of my low self-esteem. He's been trying to get me to see a psychologist to see why I have such low-self esteem and I told him what I believe it is and he'll just ignore me. Now when he's at fault in something, he is one to never admit it. Hindsight, he's pretty damn stubborn.
Frankly I really don't care what he says anymore. I know when I did wrong and I correct my own mistakes. I don't need someone telling me what they are.
Update: well things went smoothly. Wasn't nervous at all.. ok maybe just a bit. Anyways I got a good feeling about this but the I feel as if I got a bad vibe from the interviewer. She seemed I don't know. As if she wasn't interested in hiring me. She told me that they would give me a call. Here's to hoping.
Well I got a call back from the library telling me that the position has been filled so out if of luck there. And well today was a day I've been really really dreading. Well a few weeks ago Haley (that lesbian girl I mentioned in the love/heartbreak topic) and I had a bet. We had a bit of a video game tourny and lost. And her part of the bet was to have me go to some karoke(?) Bar and sing a song while wearing a blonde wig. I only agreed to do this in one condition. She would let me carry her phone so none of this could be posted online. She agreed and she made me sing "sway" by Michael Bubble. I don't know what's sadder. the fact that I actually agrees to this or the fact that I didn't need a drink of alcohol for a shot of confidence.
Well I might as well post this. Not to long ago I asked someone I've known and loved for a very long time (6-7 years) to go out with me and said yes. We plan on moving together sometime this year if maybe next.
We met online since our early teen years and well with time I started developing feelings for him. And to my surprise he returned those feelings. Now here we are making these big plans and I have to say, while I am afraid of what lies ahead, I am more than anything.excited because I'll be living with him.
On a darker side of news, I woke up to the worst possible scenario this morning. I go in to the restroom for my "business", toilet gets clogged and starts overflowing. I get blamed and get called a dumbass. I laugh it off. I start trying to unclog it, I stand up to answer a quick text, I slipped in the water and landed face first in the toilet with my mouth open. So I spent the entire hour brushing my teeth, using a shitload of mouthwash,hydrogen peroxide, and isoprophil alcohol and just gargled the crap out of my mouth.
Well.... Today I was going to come out to my family well my dad. I know he's a bigot and all but with a conversation we had about gay rights and the Ugandan "kill the gays" bill. No he is in no where near ok with the "killing". He says that they get what they deserve. I kept a calm demeanor but was pretty pissed off by his attitude punch him in the face and tell him I'm bi and I'm going to move in with my boyfriend. Well I can't do that. So I just bit my tongue. I plan on telling my folks about my plans about moving without all the "graphic details" this weekend.
I mean with the bashing and all that crap. I worded that wrong. Anyways he's umm a very complex person. He says he doesn't have a problem with gays but he has a disdain for them parading around their sexuality. Like if you see two guys holding hands, he'll get a "certain." Look on his face.
It's a contradiction of terms. Sometimes I cam never understand his thought process.
I'm at the hospital right now. My dad is suffering from intense stomach pain, he's been throwing up, he says he can't feel his arm. He's pretty much in intense pain. I'm waiting in the main lobby until we can see him. I'll post more later.