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Old 01-28-2010, 04:16 PM   #1
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Default Apple: There's A Thread For That

This thing deserves a thread so that it may be openly mocked.

From Kotaku:

Quote:

Ringing it at $500 to $830, the newly announced 1.5-pound iPad doesn't seem to bring much new to the table, despite Apple calling it magical.

But before we get to all of that magic, maybe you should read our take on why it isn't so magical after all.

Here's a run down of the specs, prices, details of the iPad. Let me know if you find any of the magic. If you want to compare sizes in a chart, check this bad boy out.

Pricing
WiFi only models are:
$499 - 16GB
$599 - 32GB
$699 - 64 GB

3G models are:
$629 - 16GB
$729 - 32GB
$829 - 64 GB

Online plans are $14.99 for up to 250 MB of data per month or $29.99 for Unlimited data.

Specs
Height: 9.56 inches (242.8 mm)
Width: 7.47 inches (189.7 mm)
Depth: 0.5 inch (13.4 mm)
Weight: 1.5 pounds (.68 kg) Wi-Fi model; 1.6 pounds (.73 kg) Wi-Fi + 3G model

Display
9.7-inch (diagonal) LED-backlit glossy widescreen Multi-Touch display with IPS technology with 178-degree viewing angle
Touch has been reengineered for the iPad to make it "extremely precise and responsive"
1024-by-768-pixel resolution at 132 pixels per inch (ppi)
Fingerprint-resistant oleophobic coating

Capacity
16GB, 32GB, 64GB flash memory

Processor
1 Ghz Apple A4 chip

Sensors
Accelerometer
Ambient light sensor

Battery and Power
Built-in 25Whr rechargeable lithium-polymer battery
Up to 10 hours of surfing the web on Wi-Fi, watching video, or listening to music
Charging via power adapter or USB to computer system

Input and Output
Dock connector
3.5-mm stereo headphone jack
Built-in speakers
Microphone
SIM card tray (Wi-Fi + 3G model only)

Buttons and controls
On off, sleep wake switch
Mute
Volume up and down
Home button


Built in Apps
Safari
Mail
Photos
Video
YouTube
iPod
iTunes
App Store
iBooks
Maps
Notes
Calendar
Contacts
Home Screen
Spotlight Search

Gaming
The iPad will run "almost all of the apps" designed for the iPhone. You can run any of them in normal size or your can expand them to fill your screen.




Only two games designed, rather redesigned, for the iPad have been shown off so far: First-person shooter NOVA and Need for Speed: Shift.
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Old 01-28-2010, 04:18 PM   #2
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FUCK APPLE ONLY ONE APPLICATION AT A TIME

Sorry. I wanted this. I really did. Then I found out the truth.
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Old 01-28-2010, 04:22 PM   #3
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Id want it as a gift.
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Old 01-28-2010, 04:23 PM   #4
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The Apple iPad may be great for web-browsing. It may be the best slate on which to list half of the 10 Commandments since solid rock. But, for gamers, well, thou shalt have some legitimate doubts about this thing.

Why might the iPad not become the next great player in games?

(Bear in mind, we've now played games on the iPad.)

Uh, It's A Giant iPod Touch: If our man in San Francisco is sitting at Apple's press conference, waiting for Apple to announce a revolutionary way to play games via the iPad, well, I hope he lifts his feet when the janitors come by to sweep the floors. The wait could be long.

As best we could discern from today's announcement, the button-less, tilt-sensitive, touch-screen iPad offers no game-controlling interface improvements over the button-less, tilt-sensitive, touch-screen iPod Touch. In fact, the iPad doesn't appear to even have a camera, which has been supported by some iPhone games. The iPad just shows games bigger. It shows them Beautifully, of course, but Nintendo convinced the world a few years ago that graphical improvements are not the key to modern game machine success.

The Third Pillar Might Not Stand: Back in 2004, Nintendo was preparing to release a new gaming device, the DS. The two-screened system is a hit now, but back then it seemed about as unnecessary as a third shoe. Nintendo claimed that the portable DS would become a "third pillar," as crucial a strut to Nintendo's fortunes as the home console and the portable Game Boy. But that didn't make much sense, because the DS, which could play Game Boy Advance games seemed like it would need to supplant the Game Boy line to be successful. Why, really, would someone need two portable Nintendo machines?

And so the question can now be asked of Apple: If your consumers still need a computer and a phone, needs which you already can fill, what room in their wallet, their bag and their life is there for a semi-portable, semi-desk-ready tablet computer? For gaming or otherwise?


App Apprehensions: It's wonderful to hear that the iPad will run iPhone and iPod Touch games, but those games were made to run on a screen the size of an iPod Touch, not a screen a little bigger than a Superman comic book.

Do you want to run iPad games in a window while you multi-task on the iPad? That would be the closest you'd get to having App Store gaming available on a computer you can sit down with. Well, no can do. You can't multitask on an iPad. Plus, we're talking about games that either won't fill the iPad screen or will have to be blown up by users to play at bigger than their native resolution. We're told that the iPad supports "pixel-doubling" which will compensate for that, but it's hard to get that excited about the concept of playing iPhone games, but larger. The best hope here is that the early announcements of iPad-enhanced games such as Nova and Need for Speed Shift will swiftly give way to announcements of iPad-original games.

The Cost: You could buy an iPhone 3Gs for $299, a Nintendo DS for $129, a PSP for $169, a Wii for $199, an Xbox 360 starting at $199 or a PlayStation 3 starting at $299. Or you could buy an iPad starting at $499, gamers. Tough sell?

Versus PC Gaming: You can look at the iPad as a super-sized iPhone. You could look at it as chunky big brother to the DS and PSP. Or you could look at it as the most gaming-ready computer Apple has every released. In that last respect, the iPad is a nice advance for the prospects of being able to put an Apple product on your desk and play games on it.

But in that last context, the iPad must be compared to, well, Windows-based computers. The barrier to entry for developers is low for either: Make an App for the iPad. Make your own game for the PC. Grassroots developers could flourish on either platform. But we're likely to be seeing sized-up portable games on Apple's iPad for a while. They will be compared to fully-realized PC games that can be run with controllers, keyboards and mice. Advantage, Windows gaming... for now and for a while, it seems.


Room For the Little Guys?: One of the best stories about gaming on the iPod Touch and iPad has been how the App Store allowed the smallest developers to vie in the marketplace against the biggest game publishers. The result of that competition has been wonderful games from the littlest crews to the biggest, everything from Tiger Style's Spider to some of EA's best.

The bigger screen size of the iPad, however, may raise expectations for the quality of graphics on iPad games — and smaller studios may find it more challenging than the EAs of the world to create games that are as visually pleasing as they were on the iPod Touch and iPhone.

Inherited iPhone Issues: Some models of the iPad will run over Wi-Fi. Others can run on the 3G network, which raises questions about whether they will run into the same networking issues that plague games played over networks on the iPhone.

Another possible problem involves Apple's control of software for its devices. Gaming on the iPhone/iPod has been hampered by Apple's sometimes-unpredictable moves to remove some games from the store due to rights complaints. It's Apple's right to do so, but those who disagree with Apple's decisions could come to look at an iPad as another gaming device that is firmly controlled by its platform holder, just like an Xbox 360 or Sony or Nintendo machine. We're not talking about a market as free as Windows gaming or even Facebook gaming, for better or worse.

Hard To Handle?: Do gamers want to grab the short ends of a magazine and then pretend they are gaming? The original Xbox controller wasn't even that broad and it was a bust. Or would you rather trace your finger on a placemat? Those seem to be the two most likely postures for iPad gaming, an experience devoid of buttons and control sticks. iPhone game developers are still figuring out how to make games fun with some of the same feature restrictions. The iPad's added size looks to make such problems with iPhone gaming controls and comfort even more pronounced.

There are some reasons to be excited regarding the experience of playing games on the iPad. Modern Apple products generate an enthusiasm that few other devices do. But Apple still has a long way to go before it can boast that the iPad as an option of first or even second resort for those who want to play video games.

When it was just a theoretical device, the iPad had the potential to be a must-have for gamers. Right now, it appears to be more of a "maybe," one that, from the get-go, instills as much doubt as it does enthusiasm about the newest way to play video games in the 21st century.
From here.
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Old 01-28-2010, 04:24 PM   #5
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I can see this being interesting, but not "revolutionary" like the apple products that preceded them.
I don't understand why they chose to have it use literally the exact same OS as the one that the iPhone uses. That seems sort of lazy. If they at least tweaked it they could have gotten it to at least be able to multitask.

Tablet pcs certainly aren't new, by any stretch of the imagination, there are literally products already out on the market that do the exact same things, ones that run actual os's like Windows or Linux, not a cellphone's OS.
Regardless, this will definitely make them more mainstream and a lot of interesting uses could be found for them. If there was an app for taking notes in class by using some sort of bluetooth connected pen... that would be really interesting. Especially if you could download your textbooks to it, so that way you could have everything you need for a class in one thingie.

But yeah, it isn't very powerful. The Google Nexus has a cpu with the same power.
What this thing has going for it is the app store and the Apple brand name. And it'll sell well.
But I don't think it'll be a runaway success like the iPhone or the iPod.
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Old 01-28-2010, 04:25 PM   #6
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It turns your bad feelings into good feelings!


You don't want no part of this shit!
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Old 01-28-2010, 04:27 PM   #7
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According to this kid in my class, no one really has the right mindset for this. It's not meant to be a netbook or an ipod, it's what's inbetween.

I love apple fans.
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Old 01-28-2010, 04:27 PM   #8
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But man, Apple's brand of marketing still pisses me the fuck off, and I am really pissing tired of that shiny white case with black rim aesthetic they've adopted for every last fucking one of their products.
I kind of miss those candy colored janky-ass macs we had in elementary/middle school. Why can't they make things that look like those.
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Old 01-28-2010, 04:28 PM   #9
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But... why. Why make such a cool concept, when you obviously couldn't pull it off.



Apple, as a company, are pathological bastards.
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Old 01-28-2010, 04:32 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by Thekylekurtz View Post
FUCK APPLE ONLY ONE APPLICATION AT A TIME

Sorry. I wanted this. I really did. Then I found out the truth.
Supposedly if you exit a program to open another it'll stay open. But I dunno.



...Silliness, really. If it were just a netbook with a touchscreen it'd be amazing. :< I feel like they couldn't really manage that at this time and just released this in-between thingy.


I could be wrong but whatever. Lol, iPad.
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Old 01-28-2010, 04:36 PM   #11
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I know shit all about this thing but it strikes me as quite stupid. The worst part is Apple can do this and may very well profit from it.
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Old 01-28-2010, 04:36 PM   #12
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oh, they could pull it off, but you have to understand this from a marketing perspective. They couldn't have made it too powerful because then it would be expensive. Apple knows this isn't going to replace the macbook, nor do they want it to. Clearly, it won't replace the iPhone either.
So they need to convince people to adopt a new gadget, another apple product.
It is going up against the Kindle and the eReader, and it'll probably win out in that fight. It's apple, touchscreen and hipsteria are sort of their forte.

The only problem is, like, not very many people feel like they need a Kindle or eReader. So winning that market is kind of... pointless.

The other features it has are no doubt cool. They will have pretty stylish implementations that, in all honesty, would probably be more successful on a straight-up laptop.
But yeah, we aren't going to suddenly see every college aged person going about with an iPad.
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Old 01-28-2010, 04:38 PM   #13
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Originally Posted by That Frood View Post
But man, Apple's brand of marketing still pisses me the fuck off...
It does me, too. A lot of it has a very condescending feel and I swear to God, any song they use in their ads becomes forever ruined to me as "an Apple song".

And I loathe how people aren't buying products, they're buying symbolism.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thekylekurtz View Post
But... why. Why make such a cool concept, when you obviously couldn't pull it off.
I will admit, my Apple bias aside, the thing looks cool. Like, you know, one of those doohickeys in a futuristic sci-fi movie where one scientist will hand it to another and they'll both look at it and rub their chins in unison.

Unfortunately, it just doesn't seem practical, this particular product.
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Old 01-28-2010, 04:44 PM   #14
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If you could put an actual OS on that thing it might actually be useful.
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Old 01-28-2010, 04:45 PM   #15
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Yeah, someone should jailbreak it and put instructions up online. Then I could buy it.
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Old 01-28-2010, 04:45 PM   #16
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This thing reminds me of the PSPgo, to be perfectly honest. I think there are some parallels there. I read a reply to a letter asking what the PSPgo's purpose was, who it was for, in a more recent issue of GameInformer, and I liked their response:

Quote:
Sony probably believed there was some untapped demographic that would be interested in the redesigned handheld, but we can't imagine the kind of gamer for whom the PSPgo is a worthwhile product. With download-only titles (sporting no compatibility with previously released UMD games), the system isn't for serious gamers. With the higher price point, it isn't for new PSP adopters. For music and movies, it can't compete with the iPod. All we've come up with is this: If you have a surplus of money and a deficit of common sense, the PSPgo is for you!
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Old 01-28-2010, 04:47 PM   #17
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Stephen Colbert really wants one
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Old 01-28-2010, 04:48 PM   #18
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If you could put an actual OS on that thing it might actually be useful.
I don't see how it would be any more useful than a Macbook or notebook PC, though. All that extra money to save you, what, the second and a half it takes you to flip the screen open?

The thing isn't selling function, it's selling form. You can get the function, and more of it, elsewhere.
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Old 01-28-2010, 04:48 PM   #19
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He wants someone to give him one. Be specific.
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Old 01-28-2010, 04:52 PM   #20
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How could I be so careless?
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Old 01-28-2010, 04:53 PM   #21
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Old 01-28-2010, 04:53 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nami View Post
I don't see how it would be any more useful than a Macbook or notebook PC, though. All that extra money to save you, what, the second and a half it takes you to flip the screen open?

The thing isn't selling function, it's selling form. You can get the function, and more of it, elsewhere.
I know it's been said loads before by me, but taking that thing around with you to show clients/interviewers work or proposals would be a lot easier than lugging around a laptop, or even a real portfolio.

But since that's the only appeal, it's still not worth it.
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Old 01-28-2010, 04:56 PM   #23
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Define "a lot easier", 'cause their notebooks are already very small and very light.
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Old 01-28-2010, 04:59 PM   #24
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Well okay maybe not a lot easier.

I can just imagine getting it out, scanning through work and then putting it away and moving being quicker.
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Old 01-28-2010, 05:00 PM   #25
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For $500. Give or take.
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Old 01-28-2010, 05:00 PM   #26
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Monocle View Post
I know it's been said loads before by me, but taking that thing around with you to show clients/interviewers work or proposals would be a lot easier than lugging around a laptop, or even a real portfolio.

But since that's the only appeal, it's still not worth it.
that doesn't really make sense to me, and I think there's other appeal to it.
And yeah, it does nothing new, but nothing Apple ever made did anything "new". They just make more stylized, streamlined products that incorporate a lot of pre-existing technology.
So yeah, it is kind of faggy. But this one is the most obvious. Because they are literally saying "yeah, there is stuff that does this already, but hey, we're apple... we've revolutionized everything."

Just... just.
Just watch this ad.

It oozes everything I hate about Apple marketing.
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Old 01-28-2010, 05:01 PM   #27
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Didn't say it was worth the price.
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Old 01-28-2010, 05:01 PM   #28
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Oh, and the $500 dollar pricing is a bit of a lie, because that's without 3g. With 3g I think it's around 700? And if you want a bigger memory it's also another 100. A fully functional one is around $900.
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Old 01-28-2010, 05:03 PM   #29
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I'm just making the argument that it's not really worth the product, either. If you enjoy Apple products, a dinky, little Macbook would do the same thing and more. Much, much more. How anyone in the world could justify buying this thing because it'll save you the time it takes to flip a notebook open, I do not know.
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Old 01-28-2010, 05:04 PM   #30
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*youtube*
THAT IS THE SKIT I HAVE BEEN TALKING ABOUT 8|
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