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Old 04-02-2015, 05:11 PM   #1321
Nuva
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Fuck shit fuck shit fuck that was suppose to go in fetish
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Old 07-22-2015, 04:24 PM   #1322
Inferno
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Our Cold War is ongoing and we're both still 12.

Quote:
(This chat begins with me describing a dream I had)

HerrDogma: could've been worse
instead of the alien probe
I could've sent you this

[PICTURE REDACTED FOR OBVIOUS REASONS]

Inferno: please don't tell me that is the size of an actual baseball bat
HerrDogma: it is not
it is bigger
Inferno:



every time you send me something like that
picture that apollo
that is me reading your message
my dad is playing christmas music again. send help.
HerrDogma: can i send dildos instead
Inferno: see above
HerrDogma: doesn't answer the question though
Inferno: nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnno
HerrDogma: you're no fun
Inferno: It's bad enough I have a notebook full of years-old klapollo doodles laying in a drawer, i'm not taking any more risks
HerrDogma: oh i see
so once you come to texas and we get an apartment
then I can just throw dildos at you
cause who are you hiding them from?
me?
i threw them at you
Inferno: how are you even going to afford all that
YES HELLO IS THIS THE ADULT FUNTIME STORE I WOULD LIKE TO PURCHASE YOUR ENTIRE PENETRATION INVENTORY
HerrDogma: it's not going to be all at once
Inferno: that's what i'm picturing though
like the bucket of water perched on top of the door
except it's a bucket of dildos
HerrDogma: exactly
and then you're gonna be all upset and go to get water
and I'll have moved your water bottle and replaced it with another dildo
Inferno: my first thought was that you would have rigged the pipes to spit out dildos somehow
it doesn't make any sense
but that's what i was picturing
HerrDogma: you open your drawer, no pens or pencills
just dildos, condoms, and lube
Inferno: it'd end up like the everlasting fruitcake
you go to work, open your lunchbox
dildo
it would eventually dissolve into like an indoor snowball fight
HerrDogma: but with dicks
Inferno: we're both behind these walls of pillows like sandbags, wearing helmets and chucking dildos at each other
HerrDogma: admit it, part of you is like "that sounds like it'd actually be kind of fun"
Inferno: then like the fire department walks in to do a surprise inspection and they find us in the middle of this cock fight
HerrDogma: http://i.imgur.com/2J1UiRJ.jpg
Inferno: that seems completely unrelated
HerrDogma: it is
and my font changed

and now it's back
Inferno: I almost want to draw this
almost
mostly the part with the forts and the fire department
HerrDogma: at first I thought that said you almost want to try this
Inferno: the mental image of a full-scale dildo war is hilarious
it sounds like something out of south park
HerrDogma: rig a nerf gun to fire dildos
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Old 07-22-2015, 04:55 PM   #1323
Scoffee
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So when can we expect the drawing?
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Old 07-22-2015, 10:13 PM   #1324
Siz
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In the time of never, unless its comissioned to a third party.
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Old 07-23-2015, 12:04 AM   #1325
Mr. Dogma
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For the curious, the picture was The Penetrator from Saints Row.
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Old 10-26-2015, 09:33 PM   #1326
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Quote:
buddygripple: Tu es un homme qui mange le monde.

buddygripple: Un homme qui nage dans le sang.

buddygripple: un monstre.
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Old 10-27-2015, 04:57 PM   #1327
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Non, monami. Je KONO DIO DA
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Old 10-28-2015, 07:33 PM   #1328
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Quote:
Arthur: Our word for chef is one of the reasons Swedes are disliked by restaurant staff worldwide.

Arthur: Tourists always end their meals by insisting that the waiter "complement the cock".
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Old 10-29-2015, 10:06 AM   #1329
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Old 10-29-2015, 11:26 AM   #1330
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turns out we were
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Old 11-03-2015, 11:44 AM   #1331
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Nami: Go study.
Nuva: DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO, MOM
Mallorie: Go study.
Nuva: YOU'RE TOO YOUNG TO BE MY MOM
Fenix: Go study
[Edited 12:23:02 PM] Nuva: YOU'RE MEXICAN
Fenix: What's a Mexian?
Nuva: SHUT UP
Mallorie: someone from Mexia
Nuva: SHUT UP.
Mallorie: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mexia,_Texas
Nuva: omfg
Nuva: I'm gonna eat my tuna salad now
Nuva: Fucking Texas
Nuva: Then back to looking at numbers

Nami: She's too young to be your mom and I'm not?
Nami: Fuck you.

Nuva: MOM THAT'S NOT VERY NICE
Mallorie: Time travel makes anything possible.
Nami: Suck my fucking cock.
Mallorie: lmfao
Nuva: MOM THAT'S A WEIRD THING TO SAY TO YOUR SON
Mallorie:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nami
Suck my fucking cock.
Mallorie: Since he's so great at it, apparently.
Nuva: Oh God shut up
Fenix: I hear he doesn't even notice it anymore
Nami: I would've had to have had you at like age 9, you ignorant slut.
Mallorie: Nuva, alleged Baron of BJs
Nami: XD
Nuva: I DO NOT WANT THIS RANKING
Nami: The Blow Baron.
Fenix: Baron of BJs and Footjob Expert
Mallorie: oh my god hahaha
Nuva: ARGH
Nuva: THESE ARE THINGS I DO NOT EVEN KNOW HOW TO DO I WAS TIRED

Fenix: You did say you wanted to be the one people go to when it came to footjob theory
Mallorie: Pharaoh of Fellatio
Nuva: STOP BEING GOOD AT THIS
Nuva: YES I REGRET WORDS THAT COME OUT OF MY MOUTH THE NEXT DAY

Nami:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mallorie
Pharaoh of Fellatio
Nami: Marry me.
Mallorie: Yes!
Nuva: Argh
Nuva: I'm gonna go eat

Mallorie: When you get back
Mallorie: You'll have 2 mommies

Nuva: No
Nuva: I won't

Fenix: And a Mexican, because apparently that's all he needs to disqualify me for advice
Mallorie: lmao

[Nuva is now offline.]
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Old 11-03-2015, 12:02 PM   #1332
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Old 11-03-2015, 12:21 PM   #1333
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Auntie Grieves View Post
"I can't stop thinking about dicks"(Nuva, 2015)
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Old 11-25-2015, 11:26 AM   #1334
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Quote:
Dogma: I got ghost pepper sauce. Mistakes were made.
Inferno: Good job. Find some milk or something.
Dogma: We don't have any.
Inferno: Anything with dairy? Pudding? Yogurt?
Dogma: Negative.
(20 minutes later)
Dogma: I feel like time has slowed down. Is this what dying feels like?
Dogma: Am I in the pre-car crash slowdown state?
Inferno: Maybe you're just bored.
Dogma: I've been slowly eating the ghost pepper chicken.
Inferno: Oh. So what you're telling me is that your life is flashing before your eyes.
Dogma: Yes. It's like in that moment before you die.
Dogma: However, I'm not actually dying. I think this means I have super powers.
Dogma: I think I've gained super heightened reflexes because everything is underwater.
Inferno: Ghost Pepper Man.
Dogma: Arch enemy is the Iron Stomach.
Inferno: Wait, wouldn't that make you the Iron Stomach?
Dogma: Crap.
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Old 11-25-2015, 12:20 PM   #1335
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And crap he did.
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(please read it!)
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Old 12-28-2015, 09:26 PM   #1336
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Spoiler for Huge drunken nonsense:
Quote:
Aceman-Ethan: I need to find tape so I can drunkenly wrap my SO's Christmas gift
Mallorie Williams: Yes!!!!
Aceman-Ethan: Mal where should I look for tape
Mallorie Williams: Kitchen drawer
Mallorie Williams: Everything is always there
Aceman-Ethan: kitchen drawer
Aceman-Ethan: hold on
Aceman-Ethan: lert me download skype on mty phone
Aceman-Ethan: this is becoming a choose your own adventure story
Mallorie Williams: LMAO
Aceman-Ethan: Sitting in his bedroom, the drunken Ethan downloads Skype. He waints patiently.
Mallorie Williams: waints
Mallorie Williams: what r u wainting 4
Aceman-Ethan: Ok it is downloaded
Mallorie Williams: lock and load
Aceman-Ethan: Ethan arises from his chair and moves to the intended recipient kitchen
Mallorie Williams: LOL
Aceman-Ethan: There are 3 drawers
Mallorie Williams: Left
Aceman-Ethan: Which does Ethan ope
Aceman-Ethan: Ethan approaches the left drawer
Aceman-Ethan: Inside the drawer there is :
Aceman-Ethan: Aluminum foil, plastic era the and ziplock bags
Aceman-Ethan: Plastic wrap
Mallorie Williams: Take plastic wrap
Aceman-Ethan: Ethan has picked up the plastic wrap
Mallorie Williams: Could work for ironic present wrapping if we never find tape
Mallorie Williams: Open middle
Aceman-Ethan: Inside the middle drawer there are spoons forks and knives
Aceman-Ethan: Common eating implements
Aceman-Ethan: Also a water filter
Mallorie Williams: Hmm
Aceman-Ethan: Ethan seems to be aware that the filter does not have the correct adapter
Mallorie Williams: LOL
Aceman-Ethan: He looks at it with an upset expression
Mallorie Williams: Place adapter on counter
Mallorie Williams: open right drawer
Aceman-Ethan: The filter is placed on the corner
Aceman-Ethan: The right drawer is opened
Aceman-Ethan: Inside are a number of non sharp cooking implements
Mallorie Williams: curses
Aceman-Ethan: Spoons, can openers, measuring cups etc.
Aceman-Ethan: All 3 drawers are now open
Mallorie Williams: Leave them
Aceman-Ethan: In the kitchen Ethan can see a fridge, oven, dishwasher, microwave, and counter
Aceman-Ethan: Ethan leaves the kitchen
Mallorie Williams: What options do we have here
Mallorie Williams: Location wise

Aceman-Ethan: The living room is nearby
Aceman-Ethan: A closet is to the right
Aceman-Ethan: To the left is Ethan room
Aceman-Ethan: Left straight is Normans really room
Mallorie Williams: Go to ethans
Aceman-Ethan: Norman is on vacation and his room is filthy
Mallorie Williams: LOL
Aceman-Ethan: Ethan goes back to his room
Mallorie Williams: Search for desk

Aceman-Ethan: Ethan finds two desks
Aceman-Ethan: Aaron desk and Ethan desk
Aceman-Ethan: Ethan desk has many monitors and other junk
Aceman-Ethan: Aaron desk is unknown
Mallorie Williams: Check aaron desk

Aceman-Ethan: The desk contains some coins, books, and other misc junk
Aceman-Ethan: Should Ethan check for anything specific
Aceman-Ethan: Current inventory of plastic wrap has been left on dining table
Mallorie Williams: tape lmao
Aceman-Ethan: Ethan searches for tape
Aceman-Ethan: Loading...
Mallorie Williams: Lololol

Aceman-Ethan: Ethan has found mass effect, a Pokemon pepper spray, an old phone, godzilla, and a broken turtle figure
Aceman-Ethan: Ethan is unsure if he broke the turtle
Mallorie Williams: Omg
Mallorie Williams: Hmmmmmmmmm
Aceman-Ethan: There is also a hard drive
Mallorie Williams: The trail is cold
Mallorie Williams: But the drive to find tape is still
Mallorie Williams: Hard
Aceman-Ethan: The apartment contains :Ethan room, Ethan bathroom, norman room, norman bathroom, living room, dining room, and kitchen
Aceman-Ethan: Ethan is currently in Ethan room
Mallorie Williams: Check ethan desk

Mallorie Williams: Drink beer
Mallorie Williams: Lmao
Aceman-Ethan: All beer us unfortunately empty
Aceman-Ethan: The fridge my contain more...
Aceman-Ethan: The desk otherwise contains standard computing equipment and empty beer
Aceman-Ethan: At least at first glance
Mallorie Williams: Search beers
Mallorie Williams: Lmao
Aceman-Ethan: Ethan searches the beers
Aceman-Ethan: there are empty bottles of Molson Canadian, mike's hard lemonade, stone arrogant bastard, and best damn rootbeer
Aceman-Ethan: a number of clearly beer related glasses also litter the desk
Aceman-Ethan: they are all empty
Mallorie Williams: Hmmm
Aceman-Ethan: (I am enjoying this 500% fyi)
Mallorie Williams: LMAO same
Mallorie Williams: I'm really thinking
Mallorie Williams: Go 2 norm room
Mallorie Williams: Check desk
Aceman-Ethan: Ethan cautionsly sits up from his chair and begins to move to Norman's room
Aceman-Ethan: her looks around his room briefly, he spies his closet, a wire shelf, and bed, in addition to the other objects that have been previously noted
Aceman-Ethan: he moves to Norman's room

Aceman-Ethan: Normans room is gross
Mallorie Williams: I'm rolling
Aceman-Ethan: There is thankfully little food matter but stray coins and other paper garbage litter the floor
Aceman-Ethan: The room is also cold as it corners the outer side of the apartment
Aceman-Ethan: There is a closed closet in the room
Aceman-Ethan: Ethan briefly examine the floor of the room
Mallorie Williams: Roll on floor

Aceman-Ethan: Ethan rolls on the floor
Mallorie Williams: !!!!!
Aceman-Ethan: It is an experience worth rekenering
Aceman-Ethan: Remembering
Mallorie Williams: Use new vantage point to search for tape
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Old 12-28-2015, 09:26 PM   #1337
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Spoiler for part 2:
Quote:

Aceman-Ethan: Ethan locates no tape
Mallorie Williams: Crawl to ethan room
Mallorie Williams: Search wire shelf

Mallorie Williams: Dang
Aceman-Ethan: The wire shelf does not seem to contain any tape
Aceman-Ethan: remaining areas to search include the dining room, living room, ethan bathroom, and norman bathroom
Aceman-Ethan: also non drawer areas of the kitchen
Mallorie Williams: LOL sorry Derek literally just ran by, grabbed my phone in his teeth, and ran away
Mallorie Williams: Retrieved phone
Aceman-Ethan: omg
Aceman-Ethan: what the fuck
Mallorie Williams: IDK LMAO
Aceman-Ethan: is Derek your SO?
Mallorie Williams: YEAH
Mallorie Williams: Not a pet
Mallorie Williams: A human
Aceman-Ethan: omg
Aceman-Ethan: I'm imagining you like
Aceman-Ethan: sitting in a chair
Mallorie Williams: a human did this
Aceman-Ethan: and he runs past on all fours
Aceman-Ethan: and like
Aceman-Ethan: nabs it with his teeth and he foiur legged sprints past
Mallorie Williams: LOL
Aceman-Ethan: and just keeps going
Mallorie Williams: ALMOST
Mallorie Williams: He was only on 2s
Aceman-Ethan: normal legfs
Aceman-Ethan: dman that fiend
Aceman-Ethan: Ethan is currently sitting in his chair
Aceman-Ethan: Where should he search next
Aceman-Ethan: current ineventory: plastic wrap
Aceman-Ethan: gift currently sits on desk
Mallorie Williams: Loving Ron
Mallorie Williams: ......
Mallorie Williams: Living room
Aceman-Ethan: additional gift sits in secret box
Aceman-Ethan: ethan moves to the living room

Aceman-Ethan: The living room and dining area are really one room
Aceman-Ethan: What should Ethan search
Mallorie Williams: That table
Mallorie Williams: On the right

Aceman-Ethan: Ethan searches the table
Aceman-Ethan: He finds a number of dnd related objects empty packages, and Christmas gifts he has received
Mallorie Williams: Are there any used Christmas bags or paper
Aceman-Ethan: There is one empty amazon box, one empty Christmas bag and one full Christmas bag

Mallorie Williams: Can the empty Christmas bag be reused to wrap gift
Aceman-Ethan: Ethan picks up the big and returns to his room to place the gift inside
Mallorie Williams: I'm e waiting with bated breath

Mallorie Williams: !!!!!!!
Aceman-Ethan: The bag contains the gift.
Mallorie Williams: hell yeah now we're cooking
Aceman-Ethan: The gift had been adequately contained
Aceman-Ethan: Should Ethan proceed further
Mallorie Williams: That depends
Mallorie Williams: Is tissue paper needed or nah
Aceman-Ethan: Ethan assumes with relative accuracy that there is no tissue paper in the household. The closest alternatives are plastic wrap and aluminum foil
Mallorie Williams: Use plastic wrap
Aceman-Ethan: Ethan uses plastic wrap on gift
Mallorie Williams: LOL

Aceman-Ethan: Ethan has used plastic wrap to wrap rh the gift bag
Mallorie Williams: Looks great
Mallorie Williams: pinch top closed to ensure gift remains a mystery
Aceman-Ethan: Ethan pinches the top closed but it does not seem to hold
Mallorie Williams: Lol no tape
Mallorie Williams: glance around for stapler
Aceman-Ethan: Ethan searches for an object to secure the package
Mallorie Williams: Add twist ties to list of possible items

Aceman-Ethan: Ethan has nailed the package closed
Mallorie Williams: Oh my god
Aceman-Ethan: The gift packaged and sealed, Ethan's quest is complete.
Mallorie Williams: oh my god
Mallorie Williams: Lmao
Mallorie Williams: Congrats
Mallorie Williams: We did it
Aceman-Ethan: fucking good enough
Aceman-Ethan: jesus christ
Aceman-Ethan: I hope your hour of free gameplay was enjoyable
Aceman-Ethan: I sure had fun
Mallorie Williams: That was incredible
Mallorie Williams: I can't wait to hear the results
Aceman-Ethan: I will let you know for sure
Mallorie Williams: lmfao
Mallorie Williams: o/
Aceman-Ethan: \o
Aceman-Ethan: god am I drunk
Mallorie Williams: when you sober up and see this
Mallorie Williams: lmfao
Aceman-Ethan: I mean
Aceman-Ethan: I'm sober enough that I'll probably remember it
Mallorie Williams: excellent
Aceman-Ethan: message me about it sometime tomorrow though
Aceman-Ethan: we'll see
Mallorie Williams: for sure
[/QUOTE]
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Old 12-28-2015, 09:39 PM   #1338
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Norman's room is a hobo cave
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Old 12-28-2015, 09:51 PM   #1339
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I can't wait for your SO to open this present
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Old 12-28-2015, 09:52 PM   #1340
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I'll be sure to show him this.
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Old 12-29-2015, 10:04 AM   #1341
Inferno
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Ace, that was amazing.

Context: Dogma and I watched The Santa Clause last night, because he never gets to watch Christmas movies and TSC is one of my favorites.

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Old 12-29-2015, 11:39 PM   #1342
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Hoogie and I are designing a dildo for Nuva. Nuva informed me he wanted it spiked, I was questioning, and he was very sincere and angry that he wants it spiked.
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Old 12-29-2015, 11:45 PM   #1343
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Make it a cat dong.
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Old 02-14-2016, 11:12 AM   #1344
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[1:13:01 PM] Frood: Iteron upgrades huh
[1:13:24 PM] Frood: Well, let's meet with one of our financial advisers at the Bank of Ourob
[1:13:1 PM] Frood: and see if we can't get you a loan
[1:13:40 PM] Frood: are you gainfully employed?
[1::25 PM] Tombstone T. Tromboners: Yes, I am a Champion of Ardania
[1:5:46 PM] Frood: Hm. As a Champion of Ardania, I think we can qualify you for one of our "High Risk Loans", if you'd just step this way we'll get you in touch with one of our risk councillors.
[1:6:09 PM] Tombstone T. Tromboners: Okay
[1:6:28 PM] Frood: Hello. What are you taking out this loan for?
[1:6:43 PM] Tombstone T. Tromboners: Iteron Upgrades
[1:6:53 PM] Tombstone T. Tromboners: of the Clockwork Variety
[1:7:13 PM] Jacob McAlister: Hey Bob
[1:7:19 PM] Frood: I see, I see. That's fun. What do you intend to use them for?
[1:7:23 PM] Jacob McAlister: Don't forget to let him know of our primo mortgage plans.
[1:7:26 PM] Frood: Oh hey Mike, one second I'm busy with a customer.
[1:7:9 PM] Frood: I'll send him your way, champ.
[1:7:57 PM] Tombstone T. Tromboners: I plan to use them for defending the realm from the Beast That Writhes
[1:9:53 PM] Frood: Interesting. After acquiring these upgrades, where would you say you see yourself, financially, in... oh, the next 3 months?
[1:41:53 PM] Tombstone T. Tromboners: Probably pretty standard adventurer fair Bob, got plenty of work coming in and treasure being found
[1:42:41 PM] Jon, the Storm Ruler: tombstone put your familiar up as collateral
[1:43:13 PM] Jacob McAlister: Look Joe we gotta be patient, Bob's with him right now, you cant just poach everyone's stuf- I mean valued customers.
[1:43:44 PM] Frood: Hm hm hm. High risk occupation, though, that Champion business. As we understand it, one of your party members joined a cult, another was turned to dust and lives on as a skull in one of our vaults. We've even been hearing something on the wind about a world ending event?
[1:45:03 PM] Tombstone T. Tromboners: Yeah man, world's gonna end in the next 2 and a half months
[1:45:16 PM] Frood: Oh.
[1:45:42 PM] Tombstone T. Tromboners: Sorry to break it to you
[1:47:04 PM] Frood: Look, in that circumstance, and with your line of work, I think the best we can do is a short term, high-risk loan. You qualify for 76,000 gp.
[1:47:17 PM] Tombstone T. Tromboners: Alright
[1:47:20 PM] Tombstone T. Tromboners: I can work with that
[1:47:29 PM] Frood: At an interest rate of: save the world.
[1:47:7 PM] Tombstone T. Tromboners: I'll see what I can do
[1:47:45 PM] Frood: To be paid off in: two and a half months
[1:47:52 PM] Frood: If you could please sign here
[1:48:5 PM] Tombstone T. Tromboners: All right
[1:48:51 PM] Frood: Oh, one moment. It seems I'm reading the numbers off our reserve vault.
[1:49:01 PM] Tombstone T. Tromboners: ???
[1:49:15 PM] Frood: You may actually qualify for much more.
[1:49:23 PM] Frood: One second I need to consult with my superior.
[1:49:1 PM] Tombstone T. Tromboners: Oh okay
[1:55:2 PM] Frood: 81,000 gp
[1:55:59 PM] Frood: Sorry. There were some non-liquidated assets not being counted. Anyhow. Please sign here. All the same terms and restrictions.
[1:56:06 PM] Tombstone T. Tromboners: Excellent
[1:56:21 PM] Tombstone T. Tromboners: There we go, all signed and ready
[1:57:14 PM]Frood: Okay great. And sign here as well please.
[1:57:21 PM] Tombstone T. Tromboners: All right
[1:573 PM] Frood: Okay, and your initials and the date here, please.
[1:57:40 PM | Edited 1:57:55 PM] Jon, the Storm Ruler: read the fine print!
[1:57:54 PM] Tombstone T. Tromboners: Done and done
[1:58:24 PM] Frood: Okay! And please check this box to make yahoo your default search engine, this is the last one.
[1:588 PM] Jacob McAlister: Bob, see me in my office when you're done there.
[1:58:40 PM] Tombstone T. Tromboners: Are you sure this checkbox isn't optional?
[1:58:49 PM] Frood: It comes highly recommended.
[1:58:57 PM] Tombstone T. Tromboners: All right, sounds good to me
[1:59:09 PM] Frood: Alright great! Pleasure doing business with you!
[1:59:29 PM] Frood: step into Mike's office
[1:593 PM] Frood: Yeah Mike?
[2:00:03 PM] Jacob McAlister: You soft balled that guy way too hard.
[2:00:08 PM] Jacob McAlister: What did he even put up as collateral?
[2:00:25 PM] Frood: Oh no, he's branded with The Mark of Greed now. All future gold earned goes directly into our vaults.
[2:003 PM] Frood: He's like a level 15 adventurer. We'll recoup.
[2:00:55 PM] Jacob McAlister: Oh nice
[2:00:57 PM] Frood: Plus, he agreed to the ask jeeves toolbar
[2:01:14 PM] Jacob McAlister: Do people like, just not get that it slowly populates your browser with more toolbars?
[2:01:47 PM] Frood: It's really a wonder.
[2:02:03 PM] Jacob McAlister: Fools just don't realize that we are the bank that writhes.
[2:02:20 PM] Frood: Hahahahah, we have lived inside of Ourob's bag of holding all these years.
[2:05:26 PM] Tombstone T. Tromboners: busts down the door
[2:050 PM] Tombstone T. Tromboners: freeze motherfuckers this is a bust
[2:05:46 PM] Frood: IT WAS MIKE
[2:06:02 PM] Tombstone T. Tromboners: I cast Disintigrate
[2:06:15 PM] Frood: You disintegrate Ourob's bag of holding.
[2:06:19 PM] Frood: All of our money and stuff is gone.
[2:06:21 PM] Tombstone T. Tromboners: holy shit
[2:07:10 PM] Frood: Ourob walks over some time later.
[2:07:17 PM] Frood: Oh hey Silva. What's going on. Why do you look so down.
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Old 02-14-2016, 11:21 AM   #1345
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jake View Post
[1:13:01 PM] Frood: Iteron upgrades huh
[1:13:24 PM] Frood: Well, let's meet with one of our financial advisers at the Bank of Ourob
[1:13:1 PM] Frood: and see if we can't get you a loan
[1:13:40 PM] Frood: are you gainfully employed?
[1::25 PM] Tombstone T. Tromboners: Yes, I am a Champion of Ardania
[1:5:46 PM] Frood: Hm. As a Champion of Ardania, I think we can qualify you for one of our "High Risk Loans", if you'd just step this way we'll get you in touch with one of our risk councillors.
[1:6:09 PM] Tombstone T. Tromboners: Okay
[1:6:28 PM] Frood: Hello. What are you taking out this loan for?
[1:6:43 PM] Tombstone T. Tromboners: Iteron Upgrades
[1:6:53 PM] Tombstone T. Tromboners: of the Clockwork Variety
[1:7:13 PM] Jacob McAlister: Hey Bob
[1:7:19 PM] Frood: I see, I see. That's fun. What do you intend to use them for?
[1:7:23 PM] Jacob McAlister: Don't forget to let him know of our primo mortgage plans.
[1:7:26 PM] Frood: Oh hey Mike, one second I'm busy with a customer.
[1:7:9 PM] Frood: I'll send him your way, champ.
[1:7:57 PM] Tombstone T. Tromboners: I plan to use them for defending the realm from the Beast That Writhes
[1:9:53 PM] Frood: Interesting. After acquiring these upgrades, where would you say you see yourself, financially, in... oh, the next 3 months?
[1:41:53 PM] Tombstone T. Tromboners: Probably pretty standard adventurer fair Bob, got plenty of work coming in and treasure being found
[1:42:41 PM] Jon, the Storm Ruler: tombstone put your familiar up as collateral
[1:43:13 PM] Jacob McAlister: Look Joe we gotta be patient, Bob's with him right now, you cant just poach everyone's stuf- I mean valued customers.
[1:43:44 PM] Frood: Hm hm hm. High risk occupation, though, that Champion business. As we understand it, one of your party members joined a cult, another was turned to dust and lives on as a skull in one of our vaults. We've even been hearing something on the wind about a world ending event?
[1:45:03 PM] Tombstone T. Tromboners: Yeah man, world's gonna end in the next 2 and a half months
[1:45:16 PM] Frood: Oh.
[1:45:42 PM] Tombstone T. Tromboners: Sorry to break it to you
[1:47:04 PM] Frood: Look, in that circumstance, and with your line of work, I think the best we can do is a short term, high-risk loan. You qualify for 76,000 gp.
[1:47:17 PM] Tombstone T. Tromboners: Alright
[1:47:20 PM] Tombstone T. Tromboners: I can work with that
[1:47:29 PM] Frood: At an interest rate of: save the world.
[1:47:7 PM] Tombstone T. Tromboners: I'll see what I can do
[1:47:45 PM] Frood: To be paid off in: two and a half months
[1:47:52 PM] Frood: If you could please sign here
[1:48:5 PM] Tombstone T. Tromboners: All right
[1:48:51 PM] Frood: Oh, one moment. It seems I'm reading the numbers off our reserve vault.
[1:49:01 PM] Tombstone T. Tromboners: ???
[1:49:15 PM] Frood: You may actually qualify for much more.
[1:49:23 PM] Frood: One second I need to consult with my superior.
[1:49:1 PM] Tombstone T. Tromboners: Oh okay
[1:55:2 PM] Frood: 81,000 gp
[1:55:59 PM] Frood: Sorry. There were some non-liquidated assets not being counted. Anyhow. Please sign here. All the same terms and restrictions.
[1:56:06 PM] Tombstone T. Tromboners: Excellent
[1:56:21 PM] Tombstone T. Tromboners: There we go, all signed and ready
[1:57:14 PM]Frood: Okay great. And sign here as well please.
[1:57:21 PM] Tombstone T. Tromboners: All right
[1:573 PM] Frood: Okay, and your initials and the date here, please.
[1:57:40 PM | Edited 1:57:55 PM] Jon, the Storm Ruler: read the fine print!
[1:57:54 PM] Tombstone T. Tromboners: Done and done
[1:58:24 PM] Frood: Okay! And please check this box to make yahoo your default search engine, this is the last one.
[1:588 PM] Jacob McAlister: Bob, see me in my office when you're done there.
[1:58:40 PM] Tombstone T. Tromboners: Are you sure this checkbox isn't optional?
[1:58:49 PM] Frood: It comes highly recommended.
[1:58:57 PM] Tombstone T. Tromboners: All right, sounds good to me
[1:59:09 PM] Frood: Alright great! Pleasure doing business with you!
[1:59:29 PM] Frood: step into Mike's office
[1:593 PM] Frood: Yeah Mike?
[2:00:03 PM] Jacob McAlister: You soft balled that guy way too hard.
[2:00:08 PM] Jacob McAlister: What did he even put up as collateral?
[2:00:25 PM] Frood: Oh no, he's branded with The Mark of Greed now. All future gold earned goes directly into our vaults.
[2:003 PM] Frood: He's like a level 15 adventurer. We'll recoup.
[2:00:55 PM] Jacob McAlister: Oh nice
[2:00:57 PM] Frood: Plus, he agreed to the ask jeeves toolbar
[2:01:14 PM] Jacob McAlister: Do people like, just not get that it slowly populates your browser with more toolbars?
[2:01:47 PM] Frood: It's really a wonder.
[2:02:03 PM] Jacob McAlister: Fools just don't realize that we are the bank that writhes.
[2:02:20 PM] Frood: Hahahahah, we have lived inside of Ourob's bag of holding all these years.
[2:05:26 PM] Tombstone T. Tromboners: busts down the door
[2:050 PM] Tombstone T. Tromboners: freeze motherfuckers this is a bust
[2:05:46 PM] Frood: IT WAS MIKE
[2:06:02 PM] Tombstone T. Tromboners: I cast Disintigrate
[2:06:15 PM] Frood: You disintegrate Ourob's bag of holding.
[2:06:19 PM] Frood: All of our money and stuff is gone.
[2:06:21 PM] Tombstone T. Tromboners: holy shit
[2:07:10 PM] Frood: Ourob walks over some time later.
[2:07:17 PM] Frood: Oh hey Silva. What's going on. Why do you look so down.
[1:08:46 PM] Tombstone T. Tromboners: It turns out there was an evil bank inside your bag of holding
[1:09:16 PM] Tombstone T. Tromboners: I tried to take them out but accidently destroyed the entire bag and its contents with it
[1:09:19 PM] Arseny Semin: Oh.
[1:09:26 PM] Arseny Semin: ourob pulls out a bag of holding and looks inside
[1:093 PM] Arseny Semin: I don't see anything besides our money and stuff.
[1:09:40 PM] Tombstone T. Tromboners: damn
[1:09:54 PM] Arseny Semin: What bag of holding are you talking about? I always carry it with me.
[1:09:54 PM] Tombstone T. Tromboners: do iterons dream of electric sheep?
[1:10:12 PM] Tombstone T. Tromboners: and evil banks?
[1:10:25 PM] Arseny Semin: far off in the distance, there is a faint cackling
[1:104 PM] Arseny Semin: "ha ha ha, this is not the last of... THE BANK THAT WRITHES!!!"
[1:106 PM] Tombstone T. Tromboners: to be continued???????????
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Old 02-14-2016, 02:25 PM   #1346
Auntie Grieves
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best new plot arc
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Old 02-14-2016, 05:48 PM   #1347
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It's really weird the way your timestamps remove their leading zeroes.
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Old 06-12-2016, 02:24 PM   #1348
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Inferno: A lot of it is high metabolism plus the medicine they started me on last year
Mallaproper: the only thing i can think of is like
Mallaproper: dense foods
Mallaproper: eat peanut butter for exactly the reason i dont eat it lmao
Inferno: I eat those occasionally. I'll probably be able to gain more weight when I move out
Mallaproper: i won't even keep it in the huse because i love it too much but it's sooooo dense
Inferno: cause the rest of my family is trying to LOSE weight so most of what we have is...not good for weight gain
Inferno: I hoard snacks in my room
Mallaproper: yeah
Mallaproper: im imagining a dragon pile
Mallaproper: under your bed
MrDogma: MOVE IN WITH ME
MrDogma: DO IT NURD
Inferno: I can barely even get under my bed lmao
Inferno: it's a shelf thingy i bought at target
Mallaproper: do you have roommates dogma
MrDogma: i still live at home
MrDogma: apartments in frisco are super expensive
Inferno: Teas on bottom shelf, food on two middle shelves...husbands on top of shelf thing
Mallaproper: yeah no joke
Mallaproper: HUSBAND SHELF LMAO
MrDogma: I'm not planning to move out there until i can get someone to room with me
Mallaproper: we live in a house but there's four of us, and we're in BCS
Inferno: I'm planning on moving in with friends as soon as we all get full time positions
Mallaproper: All my college roommates just got jobs here and we were all like
MrDogma: i'm trying to get Infenro, Nami, and Addy to come out here
Mallaproper: "im too lazy too move"
Mallaproper: so we just
Mallaproper: kept doing the college house thing
Mallaproper: my family would flip if they knew i lived with 3 men lmao
MrDogma: TOO MANY DONGS
Mallaproper: too many dongs
MrDogma: it's like too many cooks
Inferno: there is a dong limit
MrDogma: but with dicks
MrDogma: too many cocks
Mallaproper: it's not like im partaking of all the dongs like
MrDogma: there, i said it
Inferno: brilliant
Inferno: partaking of all the dongs
MrDogma: MAL WHY ARE YOU MAKING PORNS IN YOUR APARTMENT
MrDogma: FOR WHAT OTHER REASON DO YOU NEED THIS MANY MALE ATTACHMENTS
Mallaproper: HOW DO YOU THINK I PUT FOOD ON THE TALE
MrDogma: oh my god
Mallaproper: one of the dong bearers isnt even interested in girls
Mallaproper: but that just brings more dongs under the roof
MrDogma: but at least they're like... dong... magnets?
MrDogma: i don't know where i was going with that
Mallaproper: LMAO
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